What’s the Best Advent Calendar?

I miss you baby I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you 😢😢😢 There’s no way God needed you more than I did 💔💔💔💔💔 I stay up all night searching for answers trying to find something that proves there’s an afterlife, a paradise, heaven, eternal life, anything that feels real enough to believe in. Something that tells me, with some sense of realism, that I’ll find my way back to you.😪😪